


Thoughts of You Consume

by anouksayslou



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, showering together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:01:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18245729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anouksayslou/pseuds/anouksayslou
Summary: Set right after  EP.10: Monday 17h21 - We'll see right?





	Thoughts of You Consume

Lucas smiles in the crook of Eliott's neck, inhaling the sweet smell of his skin and feeling the soft strands of his hair curling underneath his fingers.

 _This is home,_ he thinks, _this is safety. This is all I want._ He knows this. Even if nothing Eliott just said confirms this is Lucas' home for a long time. Even when something is still stuck in his throat, making it hard to breathe, to think, to feel anything other than despair.

“I’m gonna take a shower now,” he says finally, trying hard not to make eye contact with Eliott. The other boy is scary perceptive most of the time and Lucas can't afford him knowing how he feels in this moment.

“Are you OK?” Eliott asks him, suddenly more focused, always tentative when it comes to Lucas, always trying to talk softly.

“Yeah,” Lucas smiles and taps him on the shoulder as to confirm what he just said, “I’m just so tired today.” He still avoids Eliott’s gaze. The other boy mumbles something that sounds like a soft acknowledgment. Lucas knows he’ll be sorry later for not kissing him again but Basile was right today at lunch. Lucas can’t control all of this. Not now. Not ever. He can’t run after Eliott all the time to try and stop him from leaving. That has to be Eliott’s choice. A part of him still fears the other boy will disappear if he closes his eyes long enough.

He takes off his shoes and leaves the jacket on the couch. He then proceeds to his, no, to Manon’s room, searching for something clean to change into. He presses his fingers on his slightly chapped lips absentmindedly, still feeling the touch of Eliott’s lips on his. It’s been so long since they’ve kissed. He almost forgot how much he missed touching Eliott’s face, breathing in his sweet smell and playing with his hair. He was careful, too careful just now when they hugged. It's just that Eliott still looked so weak, still warm from his morning nap, still too skinny. Lucas is afraid of kissing him harder, of searching for his tongue with his own tongue. _We kissed like children_ , he thinks. _And I still got hard from that. How embarrassing. Eliott must think I’ve never kissed anyone before._

He takes a deep breath and rolls up a dark blue shirt and light sweatpants, along with a clean towel. He then walks into the living room, nodding and smiling slightly at Eliott who is looking at him from the couch, still wearing Lucas’ clothes and playing with his phone.

He then spends a weird amount of time fixing his hair in front of the mirror.

Can he really do this? Can he wait for Eliott to be better, to come back after disappearing for days, can he even trust him not to look at other people?  He meant every word he said to Eliott before and he knows he'll be there for him as long as he can...It's just that sometimes all of this, them being together, looks impossible.

It’s fucking ridiculous but Lucas can’t even see other people anymore. It’s just Eliott, Eliott, Eliott. That’s the face he sees when he wakes up and when he's left alone. He wasn't able to concentrate on anything since the day he saw Eliott in the foyer and something like that is impossible to ignore and forget. And it’s also completely ridiculous because, after all, Eliott is his boyfriend and he is _right there_ andstill Lucas feels like he needs special permission to hug him.

Someone knocks on the door and Lucas screams “Occupied” before he realizes that he really is hiding in the bathroom, avoiding conversations like a child. The person on the other side knocks again. _Lisa_ , he thinks, _she really has no boundaries._

“Lisa, what are you gonna do, piss while I’m showering?” he asks, slightly annoyed with her.

“It’s not Lisa”, he hears Eliott’s voice.

 _Something happened,_ he starts panicking ,unable to control his anxious brain again. He rushes to push open the door slightly and peek at Eliott.

“Hey, you,” Lucas says, starring at Eliott trying to see if anything happened without saying a word. “Is everything OK?”

“You’re still in your clothes,” Eliott says, looking deadly serious.

“Yeah, I, uh, “ Lucas stutters, looking down at the pants he wore to school. “I was reading something on my phone.”

“Your phone was beside me on the couch.”

Lucas rolls his eyes. “OK, oh my god, I was just looking at the mirror. Do you need something or are you just worried I broke my neck in the shower?”

Eliott stares at him.

“I’m sorry,” Lucas lets out a breath, opening the door ajar, trying to touch Eliott’s face as fast as he can. “I was just thinking about some stupid things. I'm sorry for yelling at you.”

Eliott nods. “Were you thinking about me?” he asks.

“I’m always thinking about you.” Lucas shrugs.

Eliott nods again as if that thought just brought him more pain. “Can I come in?”

Lucas stares at him. “I was actually really planning on taking a shower.”

“I know,” Eliott smiles. “I won’t bother you. I was just feeling alone.”

“What are you gonna do? Watch me shampoo my hair?” Lucas laughs sarcastically.

“Pretty much,” Eliott smiles and kisses him on the cheek. Lucas watches him as he goes in the bathroom and sits on the floor next to the toilet bowl.

“If you want me to go out just say the word,” Eliott smirks, still looking up at Lucas.

“No, I...This is just really weird.” Lucas explains, fixing the hem of his shirt nervously, confused.

“I’ve been told I’m weird before,” Eliott tells him with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

 _He looks just like when we first met,_ Lucas thinks and his whole expression softens while looking at Eliott. He missed this. He missed this so much.

“I’m just gonna pretend like you’re not there,” Lucas says, pulling the shirt over his head. He can feel Eliott shifting slightly.

"You do that."

_Try not to think._

He pulls his socks and his pants off, resistant about taking off his briefs. He takes a peek at Eliott who looks at him like he’s an interesting artwork he just discovered.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” he smiles at Eliott, uncertain if he should pull his underwear off in a very theatrical way to make him smile.

“You’re beautiful,” Eliott says and pulls his knees to his face, resting his chin on his kneecaps, his hands in the pockets of Lucas’ sweatpants. “I’m so lucky.”

That’s all the encouragement Lucas needs to take off his briefs and step into the shower.

He messes with the water pressure for a while, letting the almost cold water soak up his hair. He likes the cold shower because it wakes him up, making him more aware of everything around him. When he turns around to look at him, Eliott looks calm, sleepy almost. Suddenly Lucas feels very brave.

“Why don’t you join me?” he asks, cocking his head to the side slightly, expecting a negative answer but still willing to try.

“I already showered,” Eliott says with a smile. “That’s one of my greatest achievements today.”

“So what? Come on,” Lucas adds with a smile. “I’ll let you wash my hair.”

“I can’t…” Eliott starts but doesn’t finish, raising his hands weakly.

Lucas looks at him, eyes wide open. “I’m not gonna touch you if you don’t want me to," he says and hopes to god Eliott will understand it's a promise.

Eliott nods and gets up. Lucas avoids looking at him. Instead, he searches for his coconut scented shampoo while Eliotts silently fumbles with his clothes behind him. He rubs a small amount of liquid between his palms and spreads it all over his hair.

“Wait,” he hears Eliott’s voice behind him and feels other boy’s naked body getting closer. He closes his eyes and feels Eliott’s fingers on his neck and then on his scalp. He leans back into his touch, eyes still closed, trying really hard not to make a sound and reveal how turned on by all of this he actually is. It's not their first time in the shower, last time they were washing the remaining parts of the paint from their bodies and Lucas quickly got onto his knees, taking Eliott into his mouth as the older boy moaned and used Lucas' hair to move his head where he wanted to feel his mouth.

“Thank you,” he says, his voice shaky. Because he doesn't know what else to say and he's always thankful for Eliott. 

Without a word Eliott takes a bottle of shower gel, spreading some of it on Lucas’ shoulders and back.

“Here,” he says silently, pouring some of it on Lucas’ palm so he can wash those body parts Eliott is careful not to touch. 

“I’m trying really hard not to think about you naked beside me, “Lucas admits to Eliott finally. “You may want to finish up quickly because I need some time for myself.”

Eliott is deadly quiet.

“Seriously, Eliott,” Lucas is impatient now, his boner impossible to ignore,  “take my towel and my clothes and go get me some new ones in case somebody is outside.”

"I'm sorry, Lucas. "Eliott says finally."It's just my medicine. I had to take a different dose of my mood stabilizers and sometimes because of that I can't feel what I'm supposed to feel in these situations."

Lucas kisses his palm,  rubbing his skin slightly with his nose."It's OK. I understood everything before you even told me."

“Please,” Eliott whispers again, kissing the top of his head and then resting his head on Lucas’ shoulder, “can I at least stay and look at you?”

Lucas’ turns around quickly to look Eliott in the eyes. Eliott’s eyes are darker now, his pupils wide as he hugs Lucas around his waist.

“You want to watch me jerk off?” He asks, stunned. He’s hard now, he’s been hard for a while, but he’s still hesitant, trying not to scare Eliott off.

Eliott nods, his head still resting on Lucas’ shoulder. Lucas watches Eliott's hands, thinks about the time those hands touching him for the first time, everywhere, and starts stroking himself, trying really hard not to finish after two whole breaths.

“What are you thinking about?” Eliott asks him playfully, his lips still pressing softly the skin of Lucas’ shoulder ever so often.

“You,” Lucas says simply, his voice shaking, “your hands, your lips, your ass,” he smiles but a deep breath betrays him. Eliott giggles.

His head falls back on Eliott’s shoulder and now the taller boy is holding him, keeping him from stumbling over and falling, still kissing his neck and his back slowly.

“You’re beautiful... you’re so hot... I can’t wait to touch you everywhere,” Eliott keeps whispering and Lucas strokes himself faster and faster, feeling like he’s about to explode in Eliott’s arms. When he comes they almost fall over, Eliott managing to hold him upright in the last second. 

“Oh my god,” Lucas says, turning around to face him, his eyes still closed, breathing in the sweet smell of mango scented shower gel on Eliott’s skin, feeling the warm water on his palms and his hair once again. Eliott must have turned on the shower again. He feels nostalgic for some reason. All he wants to do is kiss him.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, finding his balance once again. “For helping.”

Eliott pulls Lucas' head back by his chin an kisses him quickly on the lips. They are both careful not to touch too much.

“Stay here. I’m gonna get the towel,” Eliott says and leaves the shower. Lucas shakes his head, trying to squeeze out as much water as he can.

“Come here,” Eliott tells him softly and waits until Lucas stumbles closer to wrap them both with the towel, kissing Lucas’s wet hair and massaging his back at the same time. Lucas waits for Eliott to dry them both with the towel, smiling and hugging himself like a small child. Eliott’s hair is already messy and his eyes are shining. He is beautiful.

“You’re so pretty,” Lucas tells him and his voice sounds strange.

“Thank you for letting me watch you,” Eliott says, stopping suddenly to look at Lucas’ eyes. "I hope you're not freaked out."

“Whenever you want,” Lucas smiles, pecking him on the lips before turning around to grab his sweatpants. “Wait here until I get you some clothes,” he says and touches Eliott’s hand gently, hoping that somehow that touch is enough to transfer all the adoration he's feeling.

Mika and Lisa are still in the kitchen and he tries really hard to seem casual. From Manon’s room, he grabs some PJ bottoms and the smallest clean shirt he has, a gift from an ex-girlfriend.  _Perfect._

“Here,” he smiles at Eliott who lights up as soon as he sees the small blue shirt. “It will go so well with your eyes,” he laughs, knowing full well Eliott will get him for this someday. He will still pull this look off, anyway. 

Later, hey lay on the couch, Lucas resting on Eliott’s chest, making small circles with his finger on the skin of Eliott’s neck. “Do you mind if I take a nap on you?” He asks, already dozing off and Eliott kisses his forehead. Eliott just hugs him tighter. 

“Wait,” Lucas says, suddenly remembering Eliott may not be able to sleep at all, “I’m gonna move a bit so you can use the other hand if you want to look at your phone or something.”

“No,” Eliott says simply, keeping him closer, “I want to hold you while you sleep.”

Lucas smiles weakly, pressing his lips on Eliott’s collarbone, feeling his hands on his back, their chest pressed together. He can still hear Eliott humming some familiar melody as he closes his eyes and slowly falls asleep.

 


End file.
